Signs
by authorwithissues
Summary: Link is a watcher and, as such, ever-aware of the growing number of signs that Allen is slowly slipping. Introspective Allen-centric. Rated PG. OneShot, complete. Sequel posted: 'Untitled'.
1. Signs

_AWI: Okay, everybody beware. This is going to be very deep and angsty. I just read a lot of depressing fics about Allen's death so… yes. Just be prepared._

_Kasey: …Right. Well, AWI does not own or claim anything. You do, however, need to get your lazy ass working on Messenger of Death. That used to be your most popular fic. Now look at it!_

_AWI: I know! *sob* It has _zero freaking views_!! It's disgusting! (hint hint nudge nudge. So, you catching the drift yet, readers?)_

_Celine: Oh, subliminal messaging, you sexy beast._

_AWI & Kasey: …_

**Signs**

Have you ever wondered about how exactly the world works? Its mysterious tickings and tocks that seem to echo and reverberate throughout the very fabric of people's minds and hearts?

But, then again, does it really make sense to compare the world to a clock? After all, the clicks and mechanical movements are hardly even, hardly mechanical, hardly right or justifiable. The world is not a smoothly ticking clock, but a cruel storm, with sharp, uneven gusts and still moments that spark the false hope that maybe, just maybe, it's over.

And, perhaps the cruelest characteristic of a storm is its need to destroy what is weak and weaken what is strong. The gusts and bouts of rain pound on weak foundations and roots, beat down upon the garbage in the street until it lies as flat as it can against the dirty pavement. It does not matter how resilient something is, in the storm, it is beaten down.

In this sense, Allen Walker is destined to fall.

[.I+I.]

As cruel as it may sound, Allen Walker is in no way a jewel. Or, at least, not a gemstone, like a diamond or the like. No, he may be better compared to a drawing or scrap of a notebook, lost in the wind, something unique and holding a beauty all its own that cannot be seen quite as easily as the superficial gemstones. The only way to truly see his beauty is to wipe away the dirt and grime and read the page or study the drawing in which the heart and soul is poured out, so much so that it would amaze one that such strong emotions can even be captured on something as flimsy and fragile as a lone sheet of paper yet survive for as long as it has.

However, no matter how strong someone's will may be, no sheet of paper can remain forever without being locked up, in a display case perhaps. But, would that not defeat the purpose of the beauty? Sure, one may be able to gaze upon the paper for many years, but would never touch it, feel the horrors that the sheet has seen, the beatings it has suffered, only to survive doggedly. They could only look upon it and see merely small traces of the paper's life. The words would never really get their true meaning across; the drawing would never put across its absolute suffering and love for a world that despises it.

The words or drawing of Allen Walker's soul are something revolutionary, something considered that of a heretic and evil, something wrong, that needs to be crushed and oppressed. Is this not why the world has punished him so? Humans fear what we do not understand, and this boy, this enigma, is something that we all, most indefinitely, have great difficulty understanding.

At first glance, Allen Walker is relatively easy to comprehend, with few secrets. But, that is only before one really looks beyond the strained smiles and bright words. Once we begin delving into this mystery of a child, we encounter things that we cannot even begin to comprehend, feelings and a drive that we have yet to feel for ourselves, and reasons that simply confound us, seemingly beyond reason.

And thus, our fear is born.

[.I+I.]

Oftentimes, I will find myself lying in bed, pondering these things whilst scolding myself for not sleeping when the need to is clear. My eyelids droop and I grow limp, yet my mind refuses to rest and continues to fight the bonds of sleep, no matter how much I will it to take a respite and allow my body the relief of sleep.

This is one such night.

As I lie, battling with my mind for sleep late at night, I hear Walker stir. We share his room so that I may observe him 24/7 as my job entails. It seems to have become an almost nightly incident for him to shoot awake from a nightmare recently, and, quite honestly, it has me worried. Though I may be a Crow, that does not change the fact that I am still human. Or that I am no Bookman.

I have been contemplating for quite some time that these nightmares of his are because of the 14th. I fear that they are signs that he is emerging and erasing this boy, quietly, in his sleep. The softness of his actions is another matter to be debated.

He shoots awake, panting and breathing heavily. His sheets are probably soaking wet.

Since his actions after the nightmares vary, I will usually pretend that I am sleeping, so that he may act according to what he needs. As odd as such a thing may sound coming from a Crow.

This night, he seems to wish that the nightmare never happened and lies back down instead of asking if I am awake or getting up to walk around. It must have been a bad one, I muse.

[.I+I.]

I don't know why, but I always seem to pester Walker about his eating habits. He seems to eat more than ever, yet almost appears to be getting thinner. Something is most definitely wrong.

And, of course, I have my theories.

For this particular subject, it is my thought that his Innocence is fighting against the 14th somewhat, and this takes energy and drains the boy severely, the proof being that he insists on going to bed earlier and does not engage in nearly as many verbal fights with Exorcists Kanda Yuu or even challenge most of the things I say nowadays, which is off, might I add. This is causing him to need to eat more in order to make up for all the calories and energy he is losing, but, it still doesn't seem to be enough. Perhaps his Innocence is so bent on getting the 14th out that it is even making him sick with its need.

Or perhaps not. I am purely speculating.

Nevertheless, I continue to pester him on eating a bit healthier, even if they are just empty words that fall on deaf ears. Instead of retorting back, he has begun resorting to simply ignoring me.

[.I+I.]

As each day passes, Walker seems to become more and more distant. Though he continues to wear his mask of a smile around his fellow Exorcists and the scientists, it is obvious that it is becoming harder and harder to keep up the pretense that he is dealing with the stress well.

If one were to ask me personally about how well Allen is coping, I probably would not answer honestly. Even to myself, most likely. However, I cannot help but be stunned at how well he really is able to hold his façade. It is obvious from my standpoint that he is falling apart from the inside out and that he shattering all too quickly. Maybe the mask is the only thing holding him together. Though the smiles are painful for him, they are a crutch. One that cannot last too much longer, this much is obvious.

Somehow, though, his friends remain in ignorance, most likely due to their instinct to turn blind eyes to their friend's predicament. The most they seem to do for the boy is call the Inspector names and speak of things they would do if only they could get their hands on him. I report most of these just to amuse the Inspector.

They do not appear to actually _help_ the boy, though. Not that I do. I am merely an observer, watching and waiting for the 14th to fully emerge.

But, as time passes, I grow more forlorn over the fate of this child, as unprofessional as it is. As I have said before, the world is not a clock. There is no logic or justification in its workings. As undeserving of his fate as he is, Allen Walker is going to fall.

[.I+I.]

Allen Walker typically does not act his age, fifteen. He typically does not act like the teenager he is. This is something I have appreciated about him. It has meant that I have only been watching over him, not babysitting.

But, unfortunately, every now and again, his age shows through. And I truly pity him for it.

Over the past few weeks, I have taken notice to the many looks he has given Lenalee Lee, despite how far out of reach she is, for him especially. With the Supervisor's sister-complex, he has never stood a chance. But, to add insult to injury, now that news of the 14th is out, Komui seems almost hell bent on keeping Walker from engaging in any real relationship with her.

This does not seem to be helping his precarious mental situation at all, might I add.

But, being the teenager he is, he has attempted to sneak out of his room several times over the past few days in an attempt to see her and be able to talk to her without anyone else present. Even if I am merely his shadow, I am still present and that is all it takes to ruin a "moment", as the Bookman Junior so kindly put.

As for Komui's relationship with the boy.

The Supervisor has become more distant with him, is sending him out on fewer missions, and keeping him as far away as possible from Lenalee Lee.

I can tell that he is honestly worried for the boy, however, family comes first and he always worries about his sister ahead of the crumbling child. I do not believe he wants to change his outlook on Walker, but is doing so subconsciously.

And, worst of all, Allen seems to realize this and cooperates, usually, at least. Oftentimes, he will avoid where Lenalee is sitting or talking without even having Komui give him a pointed look or be in the room. It is really only the times when he tries to sneak away that he really does anything against Komui's wishes. I personally think that he is trying too hard to please everyone.

[.I+I.]

Lately, I have taken notice to some strange behavior. Something that he has not pulled before. Perhaps he is just trying to mess with my head or there really is something wrong, I do not know.

But, recently, Walker has begun avoiding mirrors. If he cannot avoid one, he will either cover it with something or simply not look at it. Even when brushing his teeth, he does not look at the mirror. He is always strangely fascinated with the running water in the sink. I always pester him about wasting water, but, again, he simply ignores me.

I am beginning to fear that he is more far-gone than any of us really know.

[.I+I.]

The signs are becoming more and more common. It will not be much longer until Walker finally cracks. He seems so fragile now that merely snapping your fingers can make him shatter like glass.

And, thus, I have acted accordingly. I am very careful with him now. I truly wish for him to have as much time as he can before his friends or I must kill him. The 14th is hiding just beneath the surface, awaiting a single signal to break out and destroy the broken and used child that is Allen Walker.

He is not strong enough to ride out the storm.

* * *

_Kasey: I've gotta say, that was beyond depressing._

_Michael: Yes, but so deep. You really thought about this, didn't you?_

_AWI: *blushing* Why, yes, I did. Now, if only I've put this much passion into my Scarlet Ibis Essay. Then I totally would've gotten an A instead of a crappy C+…_

_Kelley: Well, I've gotta say, that story really did suck. I can't blame you._

_Alex: I agree._

_Tor: What the hell's _wrong_ with all you people!? The Scarlet Ibis was a powerful story and it was really good! How can you all say it was crap!_

_Everyone: …It just sucked._

_Tor: You people…_


	2. there is a sequel

Just informing all you people who alerted that a sequel to _Signs_ has been posted as a new fic. It's titled, ironically, _Untitled._

You can also look forward to a revamping of _Signs _in the near future. I've already begun the project and it should be posted soon.


End file.
